By M.J. Frost
Rebuffed in his attempts to get National Football Players fired for exercising their First Amendment rights and protesting social injustice by kneeling during the playing of the national anthem, President Donald Trump this week decided to pick up his ball and go home… to his own newly-formed professional football league.
He has named it the USXFL, or United States Xtreme Football League. The name borrows from the former United States Football League, in which Trump was a franchise owner, and the XFL, a short-lived league conceived by Trump friend and pro wrestling mogul Vince McMahon.
“This is going to be the football league to top all football leagues, believe me,” stated Trump on his Twitter account. “The NFL is a disaster with crooked players disgracing the flag, national anthem, and America.”
Trump went on to accuse these players of hating all things American, including apple pie, fake news, reality shows and Trump Steaks.
In a recent appearance in Alabama, Trump not only took exception to players kneeling in protest at NFL games, he also complained about what he sees as a loss of the sport’s toughness. He vowed his USXFL will make up for that.
“When I grew up, concussions were just a temporary setback,” he told right-wing news agency Britefart. “You got a dinger, you got back in the game. Even from my luxury suite I could see they’d be OK. Now, they’re missing games like snowflakes. Crooked, liberal Hillary and Obama and Al Gore’s fake science have led us to this!”
“This is easy. Not hard. I tell my players that if you see three runners, just tackle the one in the middle. Simple.”
Among the favored gimmicks borrowed from the XFL is the use of alternatives to players’ last names on the backs of their jerseys. The most-remembered example from the XFL was player Rod Smart’s jersey, which read “He Hate Me.”
President Trump greeted some of his league’s players and excitedly thought Smart had returned to football. But he became confused when the jersey he spotted actually read, “I Hate You.”
The unnamed player confirmed he is not Rod Smart but then whispered to reporters, “that isn’t a typo, believe me.”
Trump then took to his Twitter account to complain about another player’s jersey: “I can’t understand whatever African name is on there. If I told him once, I told him a million times, his name is Toby.”
Critics are quick to recall that Trump’s previous dabblings in pro football are blamed for the demise of an entire league. The USFL, which began play in 1983, held its seasons in the spring, far from the NFL’s traditional fall season. Although the league had a shaky financial start, it gained respect and followers through its 1985 season. That’s when Trump, who owned the USFL’s New Jersey Generals, led the movement to switch to a fall schedule to compete directly with the NFL and, as an ulterior motive, force them into an agreement to ultimately merge the leagues.
That failed. So did the USFL’s subsequent federal antitrust lawsuit. Ironically, the USFL won that lawsuit but was awarded one dollar in damages.
Some critics suggest Trump’s bitterness really stems from his rejected attempts to become an NFL owner. Back in early 2014, he was among the candidates to bid for the Buffalo Bills, whose founder and original owner Ralph Wilson had passed away the previous year. The franchise was ultimately acquired by billionares and also Buffalo Sabres hockey club owners Terry and Kim Pegula.
When asked if they regret not “taking one for America” and letting Trump buy their beloved team, several Bills fans were heard saying, “You kidding us? We’re Bills fans. We’ve already suffered enough humiliation for several lifetimes!”
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